Men and Insecurity Complex

RA: Jus' tell me you don't want to help me get that gig.
VIP: No, it is not so. But you're jus' "too smart"
RA: Oh! and that's a disadvantage??
VIP: Well.... yeah!
...........
RA: So, he doesn't want to hire me?
VIP: You're too pretty *gesticulating a fiery hand gesture*
RA *offended*: Meaning I'm too much in all aspects huh?
VIP: ...........

That was a part of a conversation with a VIP I've known since before my birth.

Men perceive women as dangerous species capable of plotting devious plans to attain their goals. And, they whine about their inability to understand how our cerebral transmission work. But, for women, the smart and confident ones that is, achieving that perfect balance between asserting themselves without invading the comfort zone of men, is difficult task to say the least.

Maureen Dowd, a fine intelligent woman, beautifully describes how women avert this dilemma

Professional women in their 20s are growing deft at subterfuges to protect the egos of dates who make less money, the story said, such as not leaving their shopping bags around and not mentioning their business achievements. Or they simply date older men who might not be as threatened.

But in a recent article, Lisa Belkin, in quoting a Catalyst research, states:

that women who act in ways that are consistent with gender stereotypes — defined as focusing “on work relationships” and expressing “concern for other people’s perspectives” — are considered less competent. But if they act in ways that are seen as more “male” — like “act assertively, focus on work task, display ambition” — they are seen as “too tough” and “unfeminine.”

So, insecure men! Which of the above stances you prefer?